Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
