Can i not drive my cunt home
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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