Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
