fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
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