I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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