WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So apparently I’m into choking now
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize