sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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