oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
