How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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