I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
