no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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