Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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