i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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