So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
