her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
