I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
