It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
