The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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