i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Someone shit on the floor
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
