If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize