His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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