Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
