Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
