She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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