At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It was confusing and full of hummus
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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