Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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