I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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