Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
