is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
