how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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