I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize