i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
