plz talk dirty to me
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
