A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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