I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
