It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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