no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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