Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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