I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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