were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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