If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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