Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
