who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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