Christians are straight up FREAKS
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
