Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
