I want to have your abortion
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
