why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
