i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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