Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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