I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize