I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
