you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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