How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
