What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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