He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
