oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The adults are the big ones right?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
