Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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