From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
