this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize