Someone shit on the floor
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
