it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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