Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
