She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Dicks are not precious.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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