her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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