I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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