Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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