Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
