I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
