yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just high enough for therapy.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize