google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
