So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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